Save Charleston Birth Place

I've been absent from blogger-land for like 3 months. What can I say? I have 3 kids and 3 dogs and this Kindergarten thing is way harder than I thought (for me, not for Man Cub)!

Recently, though, an issue has so impassioned me that I just have to say more than a Facebook status will allow.

The birth center where I delivered my third child, Charleston Birth Place, is facing closure after some health department policies are being "reinterpreted."

I call bull.

You can read Coralie's birth story and see some of the photos here.

You can read more about the issue at hand at http://savecbp.org/.

You can read statistics about birth centers in the National Birth Center Study II here.

You can sign a petition to support this cause here.

I fall pretty low on the "Hippie" scale. 

Probably somewhere above a chronic litterer and below weaving my own fabric to make my own cloth diapers.

When I have a headache I take an Excedrin.

And when I have a cold I take some DayQuil.

And when I have a baby I...

Well, I think that my body is doing something that it's Creator made it to do.

 And since I am considered "low risk" and "healthy," this time around I chose to do it in a freestanding birth center, attended by a Certified Nurse Midwife.

When I needed space to labor alone, she quietly sat in a nearby room.

When I started to puke, she brought be a cup and and cool towel and some peppermint essential oil.

When I started to shake, she told me that it was normal.

When I said "Judy, I wish you could just do this for me" she encouraged me that I was doing it wonderfully myself.

When I pushed so hard I thought my head was going to explode, she guided me to slow down and breathe.

And, when my baby's shoulder got stuck behind my pubic bone [shoulder dystocia], she knew just what to do. She handled the complication expertly and quickly. She kept me intact and my baby safe. She reacted without hesitation. And we were all fine. Great, in fact.

See, a midwife can handle lots of complications. And she knows when to call a doctor and transfer to a hospital if necessary. DHEC needs to leave the wonderful, competent, trained, skilled,  Certified Nurse Midwives of Charleston Birth Place alone. 

In over 1,100 births they have had 1% transfer to a hospital for a true emergency.

They have 0% infant mortality.

0% maternal mortality.

And 100% of my support, passion, and love.

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The Birth of Coralie

I am sitting here with a fully-one-year-old Coralie asleep across my lap. The little lamb is sweaty and kind of inhibiting my typing, but I am too afraid to move her. It's quiet in here and a wakey-baby would spoil that.

Over the past several days, my fella and I have been talking about sweet Coralie's birth. It is undoubtedly the greatest accomplishment of my life to date. It struck me, though, that there are a lot of details missing from the blog version of this story. I blame it on an oxytocin haze, because when I wrote this original post [24 hours post-partum] I felt like it was the most complete version possible. I even gave myself a pat on the back for managing to get it all down in written word so soon after the event. Now, I look back on the day I hit the "Publish" button and realize that I was a lot like a very drunk person, in a complete fog but unable to tell just how foggy things are.

So today, Cori's first birthday, I decided to update the story, to fill in the gaps, and to share some of the post-partum ups and downs that I went through. Please know that this is a story about childbirth. If you are uncomfortable with talk of cervices and placentas, read no further.

This is the story of the birth of my third child. My first two children were born in hospitals with both IV pain medications and epidurals. While I appreciated (and very much wanted) the epidural at both previous births, by the time I was planning my third pregnancy, I knew that I wanted to get off the hamster wheel of the medical model of prenatal care and birth. I knew that there must be a better way to do this whole birth thing, and my many friends and acquaintances that had left the hospital setting to give birth only confirmed that feeling with their positive stories.

When I became pregnant with baby number three, I immediately scheduled orientation at the local birth center. I admit that I was scared to go through with the orientation, and when I filled out the initial paperwork, I thought; Well now there is no going back, I'm really going to have to go through with this in eight months. 

My husband was very supportive, which I expected. He was wonderfully supportive at both of my hospital births and he personally prefers to avoid unnecessary medical intervention and medication, so he was all for doing things the natural way.

I prepared for the birth by reading and watching every natural birth resource I could get my hands on. My favorites were all of Ina May Gaskin's books, and The Christian Childbirth Handbook. I watched The Business of Being Born and More Business of Being Born on Netflix about 10 times each. I also asked all of my friends with natural birth experience for tips and encouragement, and frequently read birth stories on blogs like Birth Without Fear. I had a lot of fear to work through and spent a lot of time praying about the birth and seeking God's peace. The whole pregnancy and birth were such a spiritual journey for me, and I grew as a person so much throughout that time.

The final weeks of pregnancy were plagued with prodromal labor that caused me to lose a lot of sleep, but other than fatigue, I felt great. I didn't gain much weight this time and baby wasn't feeling too large or keeping me too uncomfortable. At my 39 week check up the midwife found me to be only 2cm dilated, and I began to wonder if this baby would be my first to make it to her due date or even beyond. I had reached 4cm weeks before labor began with my other children, so I didn't feel that anything was imminent. Another midwife prediction was that this would be a small baby, with which I heartily agreed. I remember saying "I think you are right! I don't feel big or uncomfortable at all! I can breathe, I can eat! This is a small baby!"

On the afternoon of August 17th (39 weeks, 4 days), I was feeling my typical "false" contractions, so I hung out on the birth ball to try to get comfortable while Jason and I watched The Godfather II. My 5-year-old son was spending the day and night with his grandparents and our 22-month-old daughter was having a pretty mellow day. All in all, things just felt so relaxed all day. The painless contractions continued all afternoon and into the evening. We went for a walk, and still nothing seemed to be happening. I told Jason that it was just another night of false labor, and that I was sure I would be waking up pregnant again the next day. With that, I went to bed to read and watch tv. Sometime after 9pm, Jason laid down on the bed with me to watch a movie on TV. He rubbed my back and suddenly the painless, sporadic contractions transformed into strong waves coming every two minutes and lasting a minute or longer. When I mentioned that they were requiring more of my attention, Jason suggested that I call the midwife, but I didn't want to bug anyone for a false alarm, so I decided to time them for awhile. After almost an hour, he insisted that I call. I was hesitant, because although they felt powerful, there was really no pain associated with the sensation. As Ina May says, it was just "an interesting sensation requiring all of your attention." I really felt no pain, and I remembered that my "real" labors were extremely painful right from the beginning, so I kept insisting that this wasn't real. But Jason pushed me to call since he was worried about waiting too long and not getting there. No one wants to deliver a baby in their bathroom unless it's planned that way!

The midwife, Judy, told me to come right in. I even gave a disclaimer along the lines of "I don't want to waste your time, this doesn't feel anything like active labor to me!" She told me that when you are having your third baby and you are contracting every two minutes, you don't worry about wasting anyone's time, you just get there. We finished packing our snacks, Gatorade, and popsicles and headed out. Luckily, my friend was staying with us, so we were able to leave our daughter in her own bed and our son was still with his grandparents.

In the car, on the way to the birth center, I really began to doubt if we should be going in. We were laughing and joking between contractions and I still couldn't say that they were painful. I told Jason "I really hope she isn't coming all the way from home, I don't think this is real." I kept reminding him how much agony I had been in with my previous two labors.

We arrived around 11pm and the midwife checked me. "How many centimeters did you say you usually are when your contractions are this close together?" she asked as she checked.

"Four...." 

Oh no! I thought. I must not even be four yet. Now I've made the trip up here for nothing! I was really embarrassed and thought that they would all be giggling when I waddled out of here baby-less, thinking I should know what I am doing by baby number three.

"You're a six!" she said. 

I was absolutely thrilled and so surprised. How could I be six already and the contractions not hurt? Don't get me wrong, they were powerful feeling, and it was an unpleasant sensation, but there was not the same pain associated that I felt in labor with my other kids. Not anywhere close.

As she checked me, Judy started to laugh and said that the baby was moving her head side-to-side and all around as if she were trying to burrow her way out or something. This might have contributed to the rapid labor, with all of that movement and pressure right on the cervix.

The midwife and nurses started to get the room set up and run the tub and I labored on the ball and kneeling on the bed. Someone said "It's Go Time!" and I had a fleeting thought of Oh my gosh, we are really going to do this! Between contractions I was laughing so hard while Jason and I discussed what device might be used to fish...ahem...debris...out of the tub. The nurse brought it out to show to us. It's pretty much a goldfish net. This led to lots of bathroom-type joking between me, Jason, and the two nurses that were on staff that night. One of the nurses [a L&D nurse from MUSC] was training and had already attended two other water births that night. She kept mentioning that it seemed like we were having fun, which we were. That is exactly what I had prayed for. I did not want a quiet, spa-like atmosphere. I wanted it to seem like we were just hanging out and bringing our baby into the world.

I got in the tub and Jason sat on a stool outside of the tub. We thought we had a long way to go, my previous labors were 11 hours and 12 hours respectively. He brought over my Gatorade, my phone that was set for my perfectly planned Pandora station, and a stack of note cards on which I had written about 30 scriptures and affirmations.

 I never got to use any of them, because as soon as I got in the tub I began to shake uncontrollably. I took two sips of Gatorade and knew I was going to vomit. I told Judy and she got me a container and some peppermint essential oil to smell to try to help with nausea. As soon as she walked away, I started throwing up, hard. Between the vomiting and the intense shaking, I could barely feel my contractions. When I finally emptied my stomach I said "Well that was a nice distraction." and again we were laughing. The shaking was making it harder to relax during contractions and I just felt so restless. I could not get comfortable in the tub, I felt like there had to be something I could do to stop this shaky feeling. Still, I wasn't feeling anything nearly as painful as I felt in past labors. I asked the nurses what I could do to stop the shaking and they said it was just a normal sign of transition. No way I am in transition. Things don't suck nearly enough. Transition is supposed to be the worst pain of your life. When I voiced that I really didn't believe I was in transition, they kept assuring me that I had all the signs. I began to feel really restless, like I needed to do something besides just sit there, so I got out of the tub to try to empty my bladder. I went to the bathroom and could not pee, even though I felt the sure sensation of a full bladder. Later, I realized that what I was likely feeling was my baby moving down, because things were progressing really fast.

Standing, and being out of the water, made the power and energy of the contractions harder to manage. I began to vocalize in low moans and feel a little panicky at the peak of each one. The shaking continued. I hung onto a rail in the bathroom and then to Jason's neck through a few. After each one I would say "I made it through that one." And I would think to myself that it was going to get much worse. It had to get worse, because it wasn't anything like the pain I had prepared myself for. The restless feeling persisted, and I wondered if I should try the nitrous oxide to relax me. But after each contraction I would think That wasn't bad enough for $150 (the cost of using the laughing gas). At one point Jason asked me if I wanted to try the laughing gas (because it was part of our birth plan) and I told him that I wasn't really in pain. The only thing I can compare the sensation to is a "charlie horse" type tightening cramp, but throughout my abdomen and back. It was a full-body experience and intense, but not really in a painful way.

 I said I wanted to rest, and Judy said I could try a contraction lying on the bed. I laid on my side and when the contraction hit I jumped right up "Help me up! Help me up!!! Don't let me do that again!!!" It was awful feeling. If you are reading this and considering natural birth, do not lie down!!! Everything, absolutely everything feels better than lying down! Judy said I was probably getting close, and  I asked her to check me again. I kinda think that I wanted to prove her wrong, like This is not transition, I am not moving fast, you people don't understand how much pain I prepared myself for! She said I was "at least an 8" and I could not believe it! I had been at the birth center for maybe an hour, in labor for maybe two hours!

Jason put on his swim trunks and we got back in the tub together. I tried leaning on him but found it really hard to rest. As each contraction would peak I would get this unbearable to urge to do something to make it stop. Maybe that is type-A personality in labor? I don't know, I just wanted to manage the sensations, and you really can't do anything, it is just happening to you. I would hop up on my knees, or roll to my side, straighten and bend my legs...it was as though I was trying to escape it instead of just letting it happen. 

At this point I would say that the intensity was becoming overwhelming, and there was some pain associated, but it was the power and the energy that was so uncomfortable and hard to handle. Judy was amazing, reminding me to relax between and telling me it was almost over. 

She said "Justine, it seems like you might be pushing a little. Are you pushing?"

"Well....I don't know...." I squeaked. And of course everyone laughed again. How do you not know that you are pushing a baby out?

I asked her if it could just be done now and she went ahead and checked me again. She felt a small lip of cervix left and said that I could push if and when it felt right. I didn't feel an urge to bear down, yet pushing gave me something to do during that intense peak, so I tried it, grunting while doing so. I rolled over and, kneeling, leaned my face into Jason's chest. As I was bearing down I felt something leak, which may have been my water breaking, I don't know. But I said "Oh no you guys! I think I peed!" and they all laughed, because really, that is what you are going to stress about while you are pushing out a baby? My grunts got louder and more primal with each push and I said "I just wish you could do this for me!" at which everyone laughed. I said "Is she almost out?" and Judy told me to check for myself. Now, pushing and delivering was the part I was most afraid of. The idea of feeling my baby come out just really unnerved me. At the time I really didn't think of it, and I just checked for myself. I felt something hard and smooth not that far in, and I could not believe it was her head. I rolled back over to a semi-reclining squat and asked Judy to check. I said "I can't tell if it is the baby! It's just something hard!" And of course, that got another laugh. Laboring mamas can be quite comical it seems. She still felt a little cervix and gently slid it over the baby's head on my next push. "That hurts! That hurts!" I yelled [really loudly Jason says] and she so calmly said "I know it does. I know." and for some reason that was so soothing. Just the fact that she knew how I felt and sympathized and I could tell. 

I continued bearing down and grunting and looking back I cannot even believe the sounds that I made. I got pretty loud. I never thought I would make noise or vocalize or anything like that. Its just not how I pictured it. At one point I pushed down so hard and for so long that Jason had to remind me to breathe. All of this, from the first push to this point, happened in about 10 minutes time, but it felt like we were frozen in time, I had no concept or awareness of how long. It could have been one minute or one hour. It seemed like such a lot of work to get her out, which surprised me, because my second baby had practically flown out. "Here she comes! Here's her head!" Someone exclaimed and Jason was supporting me from behind, saying "That's it babe. Here she is! She's coming out!" I prepared for the "ring of fire" that I had heard of, but it didn't come. I had prayed fervently that my perineum would numb naturally, as I had heard of happening. That was a truly answered prayer, because I felt absolutely no pain in my vaginal area whatsoever. There was just such a fullness. It wasn't pleasant, but still, nothing like the pain I prepared for. When they said "Her head is out!" I didn't believe it, because the searing pain I expected never came. 

Within seconds, almost as soon as I had the thought that delivering the head wasn't as painful as expected, I felt like I was being ripped in half. I screamed and began yelling "Get her out! Get her out! Oh my God get her out! HELP ME! HELP ME!" It was so frightening, and such a blur of just blinding pain and fear. All at once, Judy got so serious and quickly said something very medical-sounding to the two nurses. Each leaned down into the tub and grabbed my feet and pulled them up and back into your typical, hospital-style frog squat and Judy reached down, telling me very firmly "Keep your bottom in the water!". I was still yelling this whole time. I don't know exactly what she did, but it felt as though she reached both her hands into me and freed to baby. It turns out that she had shoulder dystocia, meaning that her shoulder got stuck behind my public bone on the way out. According to Jason, this all happened in a matter of seconds, but to me it felt like an eternity. It was the only part of the whole experience that really and truly hurt. All I can say is that I panicked, I freaked out, I did not handle it well at all, and I was loud. Later, she explained that she used the McRoberts Maneuver, in which the mother's legs are hyperflexed tightly to her abdomen to make extra room in the pelvis, while the midwife simultaneously applies external pressure above the pubic bone and gently guides the baby the rest of the way out while freeing the obstructed shoulder. 

The very instant she was out, it all went away. Like nothing ever happened. It was the most amazing feeling, nothing like the epidural-numbed moments after my hospital births. I was so elated. I held her and looked at her and said "I can't believe it's over!" a lot. After a moment or two, she was still not breathing or crying, which was okay since she was still getting oxygen from the umbilical cord. I asked if we needed to do anything to get her going and Judy took her from me gently and told Jason to help me stand for just a second. She held Coralie low, and I stood up, shaking, and sat right back down. As soon as I stood, she began to cry. Judy explained that raising the placenta [still in my uterus] above the baby for that split second gave her a big surge of cord blood and got her started. It was really cool and to this day Jason talks about all of the knowledge that midwives have and how they are so in-tune to the mom and baby.

  I peeked up at the clock and couldn't believe it was just after 1am. No one had made it to take pictures or anything, so the nurses took photos for us and the three of us snuggled in the tub as we waited for the cord to stop pulsing.

When it did, I cut it myself, which was so cool! Then Jason got out of the tub and took the baby over to the bed for some skin-to-skin bonding and Judy helped me out and over to the bed to be checked out and deliver the placenta. As I walked over to the bed I asked if I had any tearing from when she got stuck. Everyone just said "I don't know....I don't know...." so I think that they really needed to assess the situation. At this point I really did not realize how big she was or I probably would have been more concerned about it. It was so wonderfully different than the hospital experience, lying on the bed next to my husband and baby while waiting for the placenta. Everything was perfect. Healthy cord, healthy placenta, and no need for stitches despite the large baby and shoulder dystocia. I really don't know how Judy was able to maneuver the baby out and keep me intact, but I am so thankful for her skill! Since Coralie's birth I have heard many stories about moms whose baby got stuck during hospital births and they ended up with 4th-degree episiotomies, vacuum or forceps deliveries, and lots of pain and rough recoveries. I had none of that. In fact, I really didn't experience any vaginal soreness at all in the days and weeks following her birth.

Coralie Mae was born at 1:21am weighing in at 9lbs 1oz and 21 inches. I think it was about 3 1/2 hours from my first noticeable contraction. 

My mom and Jason's mom both arrived in the next couple of hours and we hung out and visited and ate goodies from Panera. We were discharged at 5:15am, just shy of 4 hours after the birth of our daughter. I climbed into my own bed and slept with sweet Coralie on my chest for about an hour before my 22-month-old  woke up. And I wouldn't do it any other way. Ever.

As I said earlier in this post, Coralie's birth was an accomplishment that I still sometimes can't believe that I did. My prayers were so faithfully answered, including the countless times that I prayed "Lord, if there are any complications, give the midwife skillful hands and a sound mind." 

The first few days home were hard. We had a lot of help and received dinners for almost a month from friends and family. But, Coralie had a rough start. She slept in 10 minute increments for 2 days, and I was exhausted. I could not figure out how to make her happy, and I cried a lot. I ended up giving her a pacifier on her second day, something I avoided for several weeks with my other two. I told Jason one day "I love her and I have every desire to care for her...I am attached to her....but I don't like her at all." And that was rough, because I felt guilty for resenting my baby. The day after delivery a nurse from the birth center visited us at home for a check up. I told her about how cranky the baby was, and she assured me that in a few days when my  milk came in things would be fine. She was right! It was like someone flipped a switch and suddenly we had this placid, happy baby! 

At my one-week check up I reported that she was right! The baby did calm down when my milk came in! She said "Oh thank God! I really wasn't sure but I wasn't going to tell you that!"

The afterpains were intense, something that I am told is normal the more babies a woman has had. I was often doubled over in pain for at least a week after delivery. I also experienced more post-partum depression than I had with my other babies, which really manifested itself as anxiety and compulsive tendencies. I felt that I had to keep everything spotless for the people that were dropping off meals to us. I wigged out if there was even one dish left in the sink. It didn't help that my oldest started kindergarten the day after the birth, so we were in an entirely new routine and recovering from birth. There were lots of tears as I told Jason "I can't do this" and "I'm never going to be able to keep up." I got so tired and so resentful and sometimes felt angry that I had been pregnant and/or breastfeeding for so long. I wanted to feel "normal," whatever that means!

Slowly, though, things got better. I started taking a blend of B-vitamins and an additional calcium supplement and those things really seemed to level out the anxiety and OCD. One day I realized "I haven't cried in several days!" and I realized that I was out of the woods. In the future, if I have another biological child, I will look into options like placenta encapsulation to assist in regulating the hormonal drops that can lead to PPD. I decided to include this "negative" information about the post-partum time period because I realized in this past year that I have been living so much of my life to impress other people, and putting way too much stock in what people think of me, both the good and the bad. I don't want to just show people the highlight reel of my life, I want people to see the real me.The real me is someone that had a great birth, a great recovery, and dealt with PPD anyway. 

Now I sit here, with my one-year-old on my lap. It has been a great year with this girl. I can't tell you just how awesome she is. She still nurses once or twice at night, but my expectations have changed to match her needs, instead of trying to change her to match my expectations. She is sweet and funny and the perfect addition to our family. Happy Birthday, Coralie Mae!

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A Practical Mom's Guide to New Baby Must-Haves

I have always been a frugal individual, and now that I am on my third pregnancy I feel confident that I have narrowed down my true must-haves for a newborn. Wipes warmers and adorable hooded towels are wonderful, and I am definitely not condemning those that would purchase such items. This is also not meant to be an all-inclusive list (you all know that you are going to need diapers, right?) This is a list of the items that, once I have them ready, I feel ready to bring baby home. These are the items that I do not feel like I could manage [easily] without.

A Car Seat

It's the law, as we all know. Install it by 36 weeks gestation! My first child was born at 37 weeks on the dot and we thought we had plenty of time. Trying to figure out the intricacies of car seat installation during the stress of checking out of the hospital was not very fun!

A Pack-n-Play with Bassinet

I am not against the traditional bassinet, but I like this option because once baby grows out of the bassinet attachment you still have a play yard to use for naps, travel, etc. More use for your money!

Moby Wrap

Every experienced mom has their favorite carrier, and there is nothing wrong with the other options out there. But this is my blog, and I love the Moby. Until I got pregnant again I was still regularly wearing my then 12+ month old, and I have worn both of my kids from days old to toddlerhood. This is a definite can't-live-without item for me!

Bouncy Seat

This can be interchangeable with a swing, and I actually use both, but if I had to choose one piece of gear it would be this. It's a great place for baby to nap, be soothed if he likes vibration, and can be moved to wherever you need it in the house. This is how I accomplish showers, styling my hair, cooking meals, etc. We also sit the bouncy seat on the table each evening during family dinner, so our kid's are accustomed to "sitting at the table" with the family, nightly, from birth. 

Swaddling Blanket

Many first timers do not know this, but regular receiving blankets are not large enough to properly swaddle a baby. I personally swaddled my kids at night until they were 4 months or even older! They slept so much better, were much less fussy, and generally just loved to be swaddled. These contraptions have Velcro in them that makes swaddling so easy, and a newborn's natural movements won't undo all your hard work. I also love that these come in both warm fleece and lightweight cotton, so you can swaddle your little one comfortably in any season. 

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Newborn Scratch Mittens

Newborns do not have much control over their movements, and they often have claws like a wolverine. My first child came home from the hospital with socks on his hands to spare his precious face, because as first time mom I thought that these things were dumb. Little did I know that within the first days of life he would scratch his face to the point of bleeding at times. This is now a must have for me for those first few days!

                                          

Breast Pads

Here is another item that, as a new mom, I thought seemed unnecessary. I mean, how much can a boob leak, right? You have no idea how much. Thank God that the kind nurses at the hospital cut a maxi pad in half for me to wear in my bra at night, because I was stunned by the amount of milk I leaked during that engorgement period. Breast pads are a must even if you do not plan to nurse, because your milk will come in regardless.

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I want to reiterate that this is not an all-inclusive list. But, if I had these few items plus some diapers and clothes on hand I would feel totally okay with bringing my baby home. 

***Photos from babiesrus.com. This is not a sponsored post nor do I receive anything for recommending these brands. These are simply brands or products that I have used and personally recommend, mom to mom.

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Real Christian Moms Share What Worked For Them in Labor

I am 6 months pregnant with my third child. I have had two typical, uneventful, medicated births in the hospital. I have few complaints about those experiences and feel that I made the best choices at the time. For this baby, my fella and I are planning a natural, unmedicated childbirth at a freestanding birth center. The main reason that we made this decision (before this child was even conceived, by the way) was in the pursuit of a more family-focused, more spiritual birth experience. I am blessed with a husband that not only supports me in pregnancy, but has always been very actively involved in our children's births. We both look forward to the deeper level of involvement and support that he will be able to offer in the birth center atmosphere.There are so many benefits of natural childbirth, and I truly believe that this is the best choice for me this time around. With all that being said, I have had to work through many fears and concerns in preparation for this birth, and continue to do so now. Besides the support of my husband, I have found that my faith and my friends have been the greatest resource in this preparation. So, I decided to ask my Facebook friends to share what helped them the most during labor and delivery. Specifically, I asked for affirmations and scriptures to draw on. I was very blessed and encouraged by the responses, and I want to share them with other mommies out there!

• “ My favorite verse of all times, and this is my go-to verse for any situations in life that might be ‘anxiety’ provoking... 2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV)- for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”  -Sara
• “An excerpt from Eph. 3:17-21, ‘...I pray that you...may have power...to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ...Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, to Him be the glory...!’” -Angela
• “ 1 Corinthians 2:3-5 […and I was with you in weakness and in fear and in much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith might now rest in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.] This verse was not in my head when I delivered Olivia, but I did think about how He was crucified, and how His strength (that big huge sacrificial strength) was in me. And He carried me through as I know He always will. I did also find praise music calming, but kept it in my head, mainly because I had no clue what I would want to hear in each moment. Also, water is so extremely helpful in labor, and then I find my comfort in that He is a ‘river of joy.’  He made us to physically need water, so it is in His purpose for us to use.” -Meghan
• “ I had an epidural with our first, Riley, and natural childbirth after that  with Levi and Adelyn. I felt amazing immediately after Levi and Addy were born! What an incredible high!! And I loved being able to get up and walk around the room right after their births! Philippians 4:13 [I can do all things through Him that strengthens me.] all the way!! Plus an amazing labor coach or coaches! My hubby and mom were with me the whole time holding my hands, encouraging me and putting cold washcloths on my forehead and neck. Good luck girl...you can do it!!!” -Laura
• “ I didn’t have a ‘natural/no medication’ labor but what did help me before and even after my epidural was having a good Christian cd playing. We packed our small CD player in our hospital bag and I picked 1 cd (Kristian Stanfill! Awesome CD) that I had playing the whole time. Totally made a difference!!!!!!!” -Emma
• “ 1 Corinthians 10:13 [No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, , but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.] played on loop in my head during Lily Mae's birth. Temptation for me was the easily accessible medications that were available at the hospital - but sure enough God gave me the strength to endure without them!” -Jess
• “Shall I bring to the birth, and not cause to bring forth? saith the LORD: shall I cause to bring forth, and shut the womb? saith thy God. Isaiah 66:9” -Adrienne
• “ I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. Philippians 4:13” -Jennifer
• “This too shall pass. Lol” -Pamela
• “1 Tim. 2:15 (Nevertheless she will be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control.) and John 16:21 (A woman, when she is in labor, has sorrow because her hour has come; but as soon as she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.)”- Jennifer C.
• “ Honestly I'm a music person. I was singing Steven Curtis Chapmans "God is God" during my entire C-section with my last baby, with my second baby I sang Amazing Grace. With my first baby I was just really quiet and weepy and with my third all I could think about was having to pee soooo bad( the nurse kept promising to bring me a bed pan and never did). I have two labor playlists, an energetic one and a relaxing one (I actually listen to them all the time). Music is how I worship and even sometimes pray so that’s what works for me.” -Allicen
• “ I delivered all 9 of ours at home...each one is always a different experience, but the last one was totally different because I was much more aware of the power I have over my own body. I learned so much from the The Christian Childbirth Handbook....it has scripture in it. I wish I could buy a whole bunch of those books and give one away every time I hear a woman is pregnant! I don't really have a certain verse.” -Emma
• “ Phil 4:8 - Whatsoever is true, holy, right, pure, lovely, of good repute, dwell on these things. Use this scripture to back up focusing on truth about natural childbirth...
  -God created me and my body. He designed me to do this for His glory.
  -The pain is not forever.
  -There are breaks in between the pains.
  -Ultimately this is what I feel is healthier for me and my children (personal conviction).
  -I am being a good steward of my body by doing this as naturally as possible (personal conviction...and I do believe that c-sections have their place and so do pain meds...but I do have a personal conviction that leaving your body to work the way God designed is best unless He allows a trial in your labor that requires intervention).
  -The more painful it becomes, the closer I am to the end. When it feels like I can't take anymore, it's just about over.
  I also keep things out that are specifically for the baby that I am giving birth to. With my son, my midwife handed me his newborn sock and laid it in my hand to remember what I was laboring for (68 hour labor...I needed the encouragement). With my daughter, I set out things I had bought/made for her. I put her teddy bear that we dressed in a purple dress in plain sight (her name is Lydia after the Lydia in the NT who was a seller of purple).  FYI - I HATED music in labor...lol. It's a personal preference.” -Michelle

There are so many, many other resources out there, but I have gleaned so much from these suggestions. I also find it so helpful to hear and read birth stories as much as possible. I also have a growing library of books on the subject of natural childbirth and will share that list soon!

If you enjoyed what you just read, please click on the link below! You don't have to anything else, just click!! I used to be the #1 Religious/Spiritual blog on Top Mommy Blogs and I would really like to get back there :D

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The 2nd Trimester: This is what I know

Everyone asks for pregnancy updates and photos. I am sad to say that the title picture in this blog post is the only belly pic that I have taken to date....at 18 weeks gestation. I am 22 weeks along as of this posting.

With my other two pregnancies, I took photos weekly starting at about 8 weeks. It's not that I am less excited about this baby, I am just darn busy. Too darn busy to hunt down the Fella, persuade him to take a picture, pose, and then persuade him to take it 4 more times because my arm looks fat or my eyes are squinty. 

As far as updates, this pregnancy has been so blessedly uneventful that I don't feel like I have much to say. No hyperemesis gravida, no major discomforts. The big news, the only "event" of the pregnancy so far, came about two weeks ago, when we learned that we are having our second baby girl! We are so overjoyed at this news! I will concede that my "mother's intuition" was totally off on this one. I was absolutely positive that this baby was a boy. So positive, in fact, that I cornered the Fella the night before the ultrasound and forced him to finalize a boy's name with me. Ha! Imagine my surprise when the tech typed "girl" on the money shot!

The Facebook announcement:

As I'm reading back over my post The 1st Trimester: A Survival Story  I realize that although there is nothing to "survive" right now, I do have some tried-and-true opinions that have made things easier.
So here's what I know:

• The chiropractor is a must! Find a good one (preferably one certified in the Webster Technique and/or one that specializes in prenatal chiropractic care). Don't wait until things start to ache. I had nearly debilitating sciatica with my second pregnancy, and so I started visiting the chiropractor weekly at 12 weeks during this pregnancy. I have only felt twinges of sciatica this time, as opposed to the severe pain I was in by this point in my last pregnancy. Even if you aren't having any aches or pains, chiropractic care during pregnancy is noted to help the baby's position during labor and delivery and make the birthing process shorter and easier. 
• Eat tons of protein. While your body can do a lot to build your baby without your help, it absolutely cannot do so without protein. Guess what? If you don't take in enough protein in your diet during pregnancy, your body will "steal" it from your muscles. This is why many pregnant mamas feel tired, weak, and flabby during pregnancy. You can gain the recommended amount of weight (or less!) and still end your pregnancy with little muscle tone simply because of your protein intake. I never really knew the importance of protein with my first two pregnancies and I credit this dietary change with how great I feel this time around!
• Trust no one. Well...trust your doctor/midwife. No matter how many times you have done this, everyone has advice. Most of it is bull. Sorry to the know-it-alls of the world (including myself). Oh, and Google is not a substitute for your provider's advice and knowledge. Google any possible pregnancy question and you will undoubtedly get contradictory answers, all of which will sound perfectly credible. And don't even get me started on those online message boards....
•  Eat high fiber foods daily. You know why. If I have to tell you why....you are not a pregnant woman or a mother. Yeah, it's an unpleasant topic. But staying...ahem...regular will help you feel more comfortable in so many ways.
• Last but most important: Live your life. I will hop onto my soap box here and say it. I absolutely cannot stand hearing phrases like "I can't do that, I'm pregnant" and "I'm going to stop ______ while I'm pregnant." or "You can't expect me to ______ while pregnant." Unless you are filling in these blanks with smoke crack or do Jager bombs or go bungee jumping, pretty much whatever the [safe] activity is, if you could do it before you were pregnant, you can do it now. House work, yard work, car washing, road trips, vacations, camping, water-park-going, the list goes on and on. Please don't send me hate mail detailing your high risk pregnancy. I'm not talking about the exceptional situations here. I am talking about the typical, low-risk pregnancy. Go ahead, live your life like you lived it before. 40 weeks is a long time to live in a bubble. Just sayin'.

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The 1st Trimester (A Survival Story)

Yes, I have been absent from the world of blogs since just before Christmas. Holiday activity and travel coupled with a severe case of writer's block are not the only reasons for my absence. For those of you that do not know me personally, there is another (quite large) bit of information: I am expecting my 3rd biological child! 

My fella and I are very excited about this baby and, yes, we are still getting certified to adopt from the Department of Social Services. We don't know what all of that looks like yet, but we do know that we are at the center of God's will for our lives, and there is absolutely no safer place to be!

Right now I am about 10 weeks along and feeling much better than I ever did during my previous 2 pregnancies. They say that the Lord only gives us what we can handle, and I truly believe this. I don't know that I could experience the same severe nausea/vomiting/fatigue that I did in the past and simultaneously care for my one and four year old children, our home, pets, and prepare our lives and homes for the adoption and related inspections! 

While I am much for functional this time around, I am certainly not experiencing one of  those symptom-free pregnancies that participants of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" describe. And as a third-timer, I have come up with some 1st trimester survival rules that I live by, and encourage others walking in my shoes to live by as well.

1. Sleep: Often and deeply. Go to bed early and stay in bed late (assuming there is not a hungry toddler or a cranky boss demanding your attention in the a.m.). Take naps and make them long ones. You are neither lazy nor narcoleptic. You are growing a person and this 1st trimester is the time during which your baby does her most rapid growth and development. If performing all of that within the confines of your uterus doesn't warrant some extra zzz's, I don't know what does.
2. Buy Febreeze Air Effects: Everything in your world will begin to smell strange. I once threw up in my kitchen sink at the scent of oatmeal that my fella made an hour prior. Having a bottle of this magical stuff around will clear the air of whatever it is that is making your eyes water and your gag reflex spasm. I have found the Gain scented variety to be the least offensive and the most fresh smelling, because, yes, you may even find the smell of air freshener to be disgusting.
3. Eat Whatever Sounds Good: In your second and third trimesters, I would not recommend giving in to every craving unless you happen to be craving leafy greens and lean protein. But, the rules are different while trying to survive these first twelve weeks. If it sounds appealing, chances are good that you will be able to get it down and keep it down. As an add-on to this rule, do not eat anything that does not sound/smell appetizing. Trying to choke down that grilled tilapia and steamed veggies in order to have a nice, healthful meal may end in disaster if it didn't seem appealing in the first place. Take your vitamins and make up the rest by making good choices once the queasiness has eased up a bit.
4. Drink Tons of Water: I have always been exceptionally thirsty during pregnancy, but even if you are not, you will be amazed at the difference that extra water makes in how you feel! I have found that all of my 1st trimester crampiness and abdominal aches could be resolved by drinking a big 24 oz. cup of water. Drinking lots of water also helps you avoid retaining water and bloating and can prevent constipation. You will be amazed by the amount of water that you can consume during pregnancy, and how much you feel you need. During my first pregnancy my provider told me to fill up a gallon sized jug in the morning and make sure it was gone before bedtime. I could easily get that down as well as a cup or two of milk and orange juice. And if you drink a caffeinated beverage, drink enough water to equal it in addition to your regular water intake (ex. if you have a 20 oz. Coke, drink an additional 20 oz. of water.) This all may seem impossible, but trust me, you will feel so much better when you are getting enough water!
5. Use That Pregnancy Card While You Can: If this is your first pregnancy, your partner will probably gladly fetch you another glass of water or that corn dog you've been craving. He will not allow you to carry in the groceries or help with yard work. By your second or subsequent pregnancy, the appeal will likely have worn off. Use it while you can, first timers. The world in general will be kinder to you during pregnancy too, especially with your first! It's funny how a first time mom with a cutely round baby bump gets the door held for her and help to her car with her two bags of groceries. Yet, when you are bloated, achy, 9 months pregnant and attempting to buy a cart-full of groceries with two children in tow, people just shake their heads and comment "You sure have your hands full!" or "So that's your last one, right?" Again, enjoy it while you can :)

Pregnancy flies by. It really does! Before you know it, I will be blogging about my 5 month ultrasound, then my birth plan, and one day my birth story will pop up and you will say to yourself "Wow! It seems like I just read that she was pregnant!" In this house, we are not just surviving, we are thriving! 2013 will likely be our most memorable year yet! We cannot wait to see where this journey takes us and we covet your prayers in the process.

Thanks for reading! I promise more regular blogging now that my writer's block is broken. If you like the blog, please click the link below to vote for me. One click is one vote, that is all you have to do! It's a single step!

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