Wednesday, March 27, 2013

If you ever want to do something with your life....

Do not be misled.
The title of this post is not the beginnings of friendly advice from me to you.
The title of this post is the beginning of an actual sentence that was actually spoken to me by someone that I had actually met only about thirty minutes prior.
The advice was neither solicited nor responded to. Of course now I can think of plenty of things to say in response to this unbelievably unbelievable statement. But at the moment I was so stunned I simply smiled and nodded as she listed her suggestions.
What I meant to say was:

"Thank you so much! Between caring for my home and family, educating my children and all of my volunteer work, I haven't had any time at all to come up with ways to do something with my life. I am so glad that I met you!"

The truth is, there always will be an ongoing debate between the Stay-At-Home-Moms (SAHMs)  and Working Moms (WMs). I think that I have a unique angle on this debate, because in my 5 years of motherhood I have spent 2.5 years as a WM and 2.5 years as a SAHM.

When I was a working mom, I felt that my time at work made me appreciate my time with Man Cub more. I also felt good about all the extra trips and "stuff" that my additional income allowed. But, I felt guilty every time I left him. I hated missing dinner time and bedtime several nights a week. I cannot even describe to you what it is like to hear that your first born child did all of his first milestones with a babysitter instead of with you. That was by far the lowest low of being a WM.

Now that I am a Stay-At-Home-Mom, I love the time that I spend with my kids. I love that I am their first source of care and comfort and I am the one they spend the bulk of their time with. I love that I never have to miss bedtime or dinnertime or story time. But, just as with being a WM, being a SAHM comes with it's sacrifices. The most tangible one to identify is the loss of that second full-time income. We made changes and adjustments, but it hasn't always been easy. And I have to admit, there are some days at home when it would simply be easier to be at work. There are times when I miss that individual identity. And there are certainly times that I miss all of the adult interaction.

No matter what side of the debate you are on, the point is that being a good mom is doing something with your life. This is your primary job, even if you have another one outside of the home.
 This is your mission field and your family is your ministry.
And that's about all I have to say about that.....

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