Here I sit, 16 weeks into my third pregnancy, and 6 months in to our adoption certification process. What a ride it has been, what a life-changing shift of plans and priorities.
Yesterday I was angry. I heard about a couple that is further along in the process of certification then we are, despite starting later than us and having done less of the "To Do" list than we have. Up until that moment, it was easy to say "God's timing is perfect," yet suddenly it all felt so unfair. Yes, I know that life is not fair. I know that the 6.1 million women in America that are diagnosed with infertility would look at my life and say "That's not fair." But I had a little pity party anyhow. And then I sent an email to our case worker, asking what the hold up is. And then, finally, I prayed about it. Probably not the correct order of events, but that is how it happened.
The surprising thing is, our worker responded first thing the following morning (there is usually a 2 week turnaround time for an email response). She had a very rational, reasonable explanation for the delay. But I was not satisfied. I responded back again, and again. I will spare you all the details, but will sum it up like this: at the beginning of the conversation I was told it could be another 120 days before we were ready to complete the home study. By the end of the conversation I was told that my file was in a supervisor's hands and ready to go to an investigator to complete the home study. I call that VICTORY!
So here is what I know:
-You have to stay persistent. These people have the best intentions, but they are simply overworked and overwhelmed.
-You can get a lot accomplished by asking questions. No more "I guess that is the way it is." Instead, ask "Why is that the way it is?"
-Don't mistake patience for complacency. I thought I was just being patient with the process, but I needed to be following up (and following up some more!)
-Sausage and potato casserole is the yummiest comfort food on an emotional day (okay, that might not be adoption-related but I'm sure it is in some way applicable).
The photo above is from www.davethomasfoundation.com. It is a great website with lots of free resources, all related to foster care adoption!